A wise man once said, ‘Leave a man alone in a room with a fireplace and eventually he’ll stick his head up the chimney…’ The same could be said about his penis! But we’re not here to judge, just report. So here are 6 of the strangest places men have got their penis stuck!

1. In a toaster

Perhaps it was a particularly cold day when one unidentified man from London managed to get his penis stuck in a toaster. The only way this poor fella could be freed was by the fire brigade, who gave him a good grilling for wasting their time and taxpayers money. Crumbs!

2. In a vacuum cleaner

This story sucks! A dwarf who performed in a circus act at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival where he pulled a vacuum across the stage with his penis managed to get his willy stuck in the suction pipe. A special attachment he used in the show had broken so he decided to glue it back together but didn’t allow long enough for the glue to set before performing his act. After a quick trip to A&E, he was freed by doctors who said he was picking up nicely.

3. In a pipe

A 61-year-old Chinese man who liked to paint and decorate in the nude, slipped and fell, getting his todger trapped in an old air-conditioning pipe that was sticking out. Thinking nobody would believe his story, he lay there for two days until he became sick with a fever and called the doctor, who in turn told him to contact the fire brigade for assistance. After four hours of (very) careful cutting, they managed to remove his genitals from the pipe.

4. In your fly

It’s estimated that an eye-watering 17,616 men end up in A&E after managing zip their penis in the fly of their trousers. This painful experience is best illustrated in the film There’s something about Mary. Doctors advise the best way to avoid this hair-raising experience is to wear button-up trousers, or never go to the toilet ever again.

5. On the side of a bus shelter

In 2003, in temperatures of minus-30, a man from Stravropol in Russia got his penis frozen onto a metal bus shelter after he stopped for a wee on his way home. A small crowd gathered to watch the poor fella who’s own little fella remained well and truly stuck until an ambulance crew arrived with warm water and were able to free him from the shelter.
The man was banned from all public transport in the city and told if he was ever caught on a bus again he would be tossed off.

6. In a swimming pool

A 33-year-old man was trapped in a motel swimming pool. He’d gone for a late-night swim when his penis ‘somehow’ got sucked in to a cleaning filter. It took police and paramedics 40 minutes to free him from the fitting.