You know, just because you live right beside somebody your whole life and share the longest unprotected border in the world, doesn’t mean you have a whole lot in common. Here’s the 11 ways Canucks – like this writer, who lives in London – are more like Brits than the Yanks…
1. We don’t mind our nickname
Canuck rhymes with luck. Brit rhymes with fit. Yank rhymes with… well, you get the drift. Which is why we’ll be nice and stick with the proper names for this list.
2. We like the letter ‘u’ too
This is how we spell honour, humour, colour, neighbourhood etc. Americans drop the ‘u’, probably because it’s silent, a concept slightly difficult to comprehend. And spell.
3. We start drinking while we’re still teenagers
In Canada, the legal drinking age is 18, like in Britain. In the States, it’s 21. So American kids spend all their time in uni getting illegally drunk. Whereas British and Canadian students can just get on with going to the pub.
4. We don’t carry guns
It’s not in our nature. Or constitution. And like in Britain, guns are hard to buy – they’re not for sale at your corner shop, like, say, in midtown Detroit.
5. We ‘get’ music
Remember rave music? Of course you do, you started it. We were clubbing and dancing back in the 90s too. But that repetitive beats scene was waaay too alternative for the American music business so they re-branded rave culture and now it’s this really commercialised sound called EDM. Even cats can dance to it.
6. We have a dollar coin like the pound coin. And our bills aren’t all green
Americans still have a paper dollar bill. Their government has tried to introduce a dollar coin, but American citizens can’t seem to get their heads round the fact that a coin can be worth something. So they stick to their dollar bill, which is green, like all their other bills. Coloured bills, sorry, colored bills are a bit wacky for them.
7. We have universal health care
Yours is called the NHS, ours is Medicare. The United States is the world’s only democracy without free health care for every citizen. But hey, they can advertise prescription drugs on TV!
8. We do terrible in the Olympics too
OK, the 2012 Games in London went pretty well but basically, like us, you’re not up there with Russians, Germans and the Americans when it comes to winning medals. We’re great at Winter Olympics but nobody cares about them. Except curlers.
9. We’re not flag-crazy
Ever watch an American film where the Stars and Stripes doesn’t make an appearance at some point? Neither have we. And we don’t hang giant Maple Leaf flags from our houses either. Hey, we even used to have the Union Jack as part of our flag.
10. We have radio stations without commercials
Our public service broadcaster is called the CBC, and it’s basically modelled after the BBC. We do have shouty stations with loud, annoying ads but they sound just like American ones.
11. We don’t go to church much
About 20% of Canadians attend church regularly, in Britain it’s 15%. More than 40% of Americans go to church once a week. Even Homer does. Guess that’s why God blesses America.