Because a caesar salad will never really cut it for us.
1. You get REALLY cross when someone tries to talk you out of getting a take away. Yes, they’re expensive, and yes we have food in the freezer – but they’re just too good!
2. You take ages to reply to texts from your friends about nights out, but if they invite you over for a cheeky takeaway, you reply in record time.
3. You have taken a longer route home (on more than one occasion) just so you can stop by the drive-through on your way.
4. You know that nothing gets you through a traffic jam quite like knowing you can get your mitts on some fast food at the next lot of services.
5. You absolutely hate it when you get charged for extra sauce. That 5p is so worth it though for all that ketchup-ey goodness!
6. You don’t trust people who don’t want to get extra sides – that’s the best bit!
7. Your family and friends know that you’re not prepared to share your meal under any circumstances. Order your own food and keep your hands off of my chips.
8. Your idea of true love is someone that knows your takeaway orders off by heart.
9. You have had to send someone else to the door to collect your takeaway from the nice deliveryman because it’s just too embarrassing to face him more than once in the same week.
10. You are also really quite embarrassed about the fact they now recognise your voice when you ring to order and they offer you a discount for being such a loyal customer. When you start getting Christmas cards from them, then you really know you’re in trouble!
11. You speak so highly about your local takeaway companies that they should probably just employ you to do their marketing.
12. You could recite the entire menu of at least one fast food outlet word for word.
13. You’re really bad at making sandwiches or healthy lunches to take with you to work – the chips in the local café or those golden arches are just too tempting when it gets to 12.30pm.
14. You genuinely believe that your takeaway of choice will solve any problem – whether that’s a hangover, a break-up or a bad day at work.
15. You also know that you don’t even need an excuse to tuck into one.
16. You know that finding some leftover take away in the fridge after a night out will make you question what you’re doing with your life, but you also know that tucking into cold pizza is loads better than cornflakes.
17. You get annoyed when you see your friends posting Facebook updates about ‘eating clean’ and drinking gross-looking super food smoothies. Kale will never be as delicious as pizza.
18. You receive an embarrassing amount of texts from different companies with their latest take away offers. They do sound good though…
19. You can lose entire hours just daydreaming about what you’ll have for dinner tonight.
20. You would much rather stay in and pig out on junk food than get dressed up and spend your money going for a fancy meal.
21. You spend way more money on your JustEat account than you do on your weekly food shop.
22. You have been that person who goes to pick up their takeaway in their pyjamas.
23. You’ve watched all those diet programmes on TV, and tried all the recipes that promise to taste just like your Friday night takeaway, but they never match up to the real deal <3.
24. You now feel really quite hungry and are thinking about tucking into your beloved (delete as appropriate) cheese quarter pounder/doner kebab/pizza/fish and chips/special fried rice/chicken balti – or maybe even all of the above (?)