We're the ones who clean up behind you on your hols, and believe us, we've seen some things we'd rather forget!
1. Chambermaid uniforms are NOT skimpy and frilly. They are the ugliest things that we’ve ever seen. Tabards. You know, like dinner ladies wear? So if you think we’re swanning around looking like this, think again.
2. You never get over the horrible stains you find on the sheets and can’t decide what is worse. The stains you can identify, or the ones you can’t.
3. We watch your telly as we clean and we’re not sorry about it.
4. We’re pros when it comes to making a perfect bed with hospital corners. But we never bother to do it at home. Thank God for fitted sheets.
5. Those trolleys we push? They are SO heavy. Yet, we’re the ones who have to scoot out of your way in the corridor. How’s that fair when we’re wielding a linen-stacked monster?
6. We’re not allowed to use the loo in your room, but when you gotta go, you gotta go! So we learn to have super-quick wees in case you come back unexpectedly.
7. People leave all sorts of weird stuff behind in their rooms. Sometimes it’s really valuable and we wish the finders keepers rule applied. But we always hand it in.
8. Even in swanky hotels, with posh restaurants, you can count on the staff canteen food being rank. But it doesn’t matter, because…
9. Free biscuits! We’ve got a trolley full of complimentary shortbread to snack on. No-one will notice a pack or two going missing.
10. But we don’t pinch the free shampoo. It’s just not that nice.
11. We don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but there’s very little point leaving foreign coins as a tip. A handful of Swiss francs won’t get us far down ASDA.
12. There aren’t many jobs where there’s a high chance that you’ll see a customer naked. Being a chambermaid is one of them.
13. We don’t know why the loo roll has to be folded into a point either. And no, we don’t do it at home.
14. People who leave dirty pants on the floor at the worst. We have to Hoover which means moving your grundies. With our hands. Yuck.
15. We get a proper workout. As well as pushing those hefty trolleys about, we spend the day pulling out furniture, shaking out sheets, and lifting mattresses. You should see our guns under our sexy, sexy tabards…