Do men ever grow up? There's always a bit of the child within us even after marriage and having kids! Warning this article is riddled with obvious cliches!
1. Owning one or more sheds (man cave?)
2. Having the obligatory paint stick for stirring paint…(in one of your sheds!)
3. Eating a very hot curry or pizza and not even flinching because you’re a man! Grrr!
4. You know a whisky from a whiskey and defy anyone who thinks a blend is as good as a single malt.
5. Can drive a car with a trailer attached (Swearing may occur as is jackknifes and you have to straighten up and start again…and again)
6. You do all the DIY jobs yourself… no need for a professional tradesman. (What do you mean these tiles aren’t straight!)
7. Have had a huge bonfire (panicked slightly when it catches the wind and gets out of hand!)
8. Handled a chain saw (Secretly thinking various film references as you wield it about unwisely)
9. Held a baby to your chest when fallen asleep. (Ahhhhhh there’s a perfect photo opportunity!)
10. Broken wind so that the whole house needs the windows opening! (Did you or didn’t you follow through!?)
11. Gone grey (it’s distinguished isn’t it!?)
12. If not grey then you’ve gone bald disgracefully before relenting and having a number one cut! ‘it really suits you?!’
13. Won over £1,000 on a bet at the races (Holding the cash in your hand makes you feel like a poor man’s gangster)
14. Grown a massive beard (not the hipster type) then shaving different designs in it when shaving it off (the Charlie Chaplin/Hitler facial design must stay in the bathroom)
15. Constructed a flat pack without even looking at the instructions (Ending up with extra nails and screws? Well it’s stayed together!….just)
16. Wearing anything pink and being proud. No one’s questioning your sexuality. (‘Can I carry this off?’ thoughts running through your mind!)
17. Going out in the snow in a tee-shirt (Northern blokes this is obviously the norm)
18. Can open any jar (Your hands are like sandpaper so it should be really easy…shouldn’t it? Oh hand it over to the wife then! ‘I loosened it!’)
19. Shot a rifle. (Discovering you can’t hit a barn door!)
20. Crying and being open about it (But only if you’ve dropped your pint!)
21. Drinking 10 pints as a warm up and then going out out!
22. Taking control of the family BBQ and wearing a comedy apron about meat…
23. Smoked a cigar or pipe badly. (I’m choking here!)
24. Grown hair where hair really need not grow…we’ve evolved haven’t we?
25. When your son buys you a pint!
26. You’re music taste is dad rock (you’re either a man or just have terrible taste in music!)
27. You’re getting out of bed twice a night for a tinkle!
28. When you don’t feel the need to read a list to ascertain if you’re a man! We’ll grow up one day when we’re ready!