Oh OHHH seven! He's licensed to kill and dirtier than our back alley! You can't beat a James Bond movie to leave you shaken and stirred. Outdated and un-PC? Yup. But funny? You betcha! And we're glad to say some of his female co-stars keep their end up nicely...


1. Bond (making love to his language teacher): ‘I always enjoyed learning a new tongue.’ (Tomorrow Never Dies)


2. Bond: ‘I take it you spent a lot of time in the saddle…’

Jenny Flex: ‘Yes, I love an early-morning ride.’

Bond: ‘Well, I’m an early-riser myself…’ (A View to A Kill)


3. Verity (a fencing instructor): ‘I see you handle your weapon well.’

Bond: ‘I have been known to keep my tip up.’ (Die Another Day)

Bond: Pierce Brosnan as James Bond - fencing scene with Madonna

PA Photos

4. Bond (addressing Christmas Jones): ‘I thought Christmas only comes once a year…’ (The World Is Not Enough)


5. M: ‘My God, what’s Bond doing?’

Q: ‘I think he’s attempting re-entry, Sir…’ (Moonraker)


6. Solitaire: ‘Is there time before we leave for Lovers’ Lesson number three?’

Bond: ‘Absolutely. No sense in going out half-cocked.’ (Live and Let Die)

Bond: Roger Moore as James Bond in bed with Solitaire

PA Photos

7. Aki to Bond: ‘I think I will very much enjoy serving under you…’ (You Only Live Twice)


8. Max Zorin: ‘You slept well?’

Bond: ‘A little restless, but I got off eventually.’ (A View To A Kill)


9. Tiger Tanaka: ‘Rule number two: in Japan, men come first, women come second.’

Bond: ‘I just might retire here.’ (You Only Live Twice)

Bond: Sean Connery as James Bond in You Only Live Twice, surrounded by women
PA Photos

10. Plenty O’Toole: ‘Hi, I’m Plenty.’

Bond: ‘But of course you are.’

Plenty O’Toole: ‘Plenty O’Toole.’

Bond: ‘Named after your father, perhaps?’ (Diamonds are Forever)


11. Fatima Blush: ‘Oh, how reckless of me. I made you all wet.’
Bond: ‘Yes, but my martini is still dry. My name is James…’ (Never Say Never Again)

Bond: Daniel Craig, barechested, in sea

PA Photos

But the final word must surely go to Miss Moneypenny…

12. ‘You always were a cunning linguist, James…’ (Tomorrow Never Dies)


So tell us, who’s your favourite James Bond?