Love it or hate it, you can’t escape Halloween. The trick-or-treaters knocking on your door, and witches, ghouls and ghosts coming out to play in wonderful costumes and masks. It’s the time when the space between their world and ours is at its thinnest – and despite rumours to the contrary, the supernatural has a great sense of humour! Here are the funniest Halloween jokes!

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1. Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?

Because he didn’t have any guts.


2. How do you say goodbye to a vampire?

So long, sucker.


3. Which music do mummies like best?

Wrap music.


4. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?



5. Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them.


6. Why don’t skeletons like parties?

They have no-one to dance with.




7. Why wasn’t the vampire working?

Because he was on his coffin break.


8. Why was the mummy so stressed out?

Because she was all wound up.


9. What does a ghost like best on her ice cream?

Whipped scream.


10. Who sends Dracula letters?

His fang club!


11. What’s a monster’s favourite game?

Hide and shriek.


12. What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?



13. Why did the spook go into the bar?

For the boos.


14. What are serious rocks called?





15. Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To go to Body Shop.


16. What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?

Boo boos.


17. What happens if you don’t pay the exorcist?

You’ll get repossessed.


18. What did the daddy ghost say to the baby ghost?

Fasten your sheet belt.


19. Why is everyone scared of Dracula?

He has a bat temper.

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20. Where do mummies like to holiday?

By the Dead Sea.


21. Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?

Because demons are a ghoul’s best friend.


22. What do you say to a ghost with three heads?

Hello, hello, hello.


23. How does a vampire like to get around?

In a blood vessel.


24. How does a vampire get there quicker?

In a scareplane.