The Naked Gun: From The Files Of Police Squad, starring Leslie Nielson as clueless police detective Frank Drebin, is a crime comedy spoof packed full of outrageous slapstick humour and juvenile gags. Here are some of our favourite quotes from the film!


1. Frank: ‘It’s the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the orange bowl on New Year’s Day.’

Frank Naked Gun

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2. Frank: ‘It’s true what they say – cops and women don’t mix. It’s like eating a spoonful of Drano. Sure, it’ll clean you out, but it’ll leave you hollow inside.’

Jane Naked Gun

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3. Jane: ‘Would you like a nightcap?’

Frank: ‘No, thank you, I don’t wear them.’

Jane and Frank

4. Ed: ‘That’s no way for a man to die.’

Frank: ‘Ah, you’re right, Ed. A parachute not opening…that’s a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine…having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that’s the way I wanna go!’

Frank and Ed

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5. Frank: ‘Protecting the Queen’s safety is a task that is gladly accepted by Police Squad. No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, as Americans, we must be gracious and considerate hosts.’

Frank and the Queen

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6. Mayor: ‘Drebin, I don’t want any more trouble like you had last year on the South Side. Understand? That’s my policy.’

Frank: ‘Yes. Well, when I see five weirdos dressed in togas stabbing a guy in the middle of the park in full view of 100 people, I shoot the bastards. That’s *my* policy.’

Mayor: ‘That was a Shakespeare-In-The-Park production of Julius Caesar, you moron! You killed five actors! Good ones.’


7. Frank: [sings] ‘Oh say can you see / By the dawn’s early light / What so proudly we hail / In the twilight’s last gleaming? / Whose bright stripes and broad stars / In the perilous night / For the ramparts we watched / uh, da-da-da-da-da-daaaa. / And the rocket’s red glare / Lots of bombs in the air / Gave proof to the night / That we still had our flag / Oh say does that flag banner wave / Over a-a-all that’s free/ And the home of the land / And the land of the – FREE!’