Beards. Unless you've had your head in a pile of shaving foam recently, you'll know that they're hot (on fellas, at least!) and we've decided there are 9 types of face fuzz…. So here it is – The Life Death Prizes Guide...


Grab the nearest fella by the short and curlies see which of the following he fits into!

1. The Bum Fluff

Ed Sheeran Bum Fluff beard

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OK, it’s hardly there at all. He’s trying, but it’s all very non-committal…
Think: Ed Sheeran


2. The Hollywood

Ben Affleck Hollywood beard

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More than mere stubble, this beard is perfectly groomed and v-e-r-y sexy. This fella may not need to shave every day but he still takes pride in his appearance.
Think: Ben Affleck


3. The Tramp

Brad Pitt The Tramp beard

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What a shame! He used to be a Hollywood hunk but he stopped bothering… Now it’s all a bit untamed (and we bet his nose hair will go the same way). Still, all is not lost – sit him on a street corner and he’ll make you a few bob.
Think: Brad Pitt


4. The KinglyJeremy Pivens as Mr Selfridge The Kingly Beard

He’s moved on a stage from the Hollywood, grown his beard a bit longer and added a cute little  tache for us to twiddle, resulting a right-royal George V look. He keeps a nifty little comb in his back pocket.
Think: Jeremy Piven as Mr Selfridge


5. The Mr Grey

George Clooney The Mr Grey beard

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Fifty shades of gorgeous… Why do us girls have spend a fortune on hair dye while the fellas just become ‘distinguished’? Who cares, this bearded bloke can tie us up any way he wishes…
Think: George Clooney


6. The BiblicalRussell Crowe The Biblical beard

Longer, wilder, woolier. Pretend you’re a hipster if you like but you know, deep down, you look like something from a biblical crowd-scene. Nice and warm in winter, we’re sure, but it’s very hard to carry off. And if it’s not carefully pruned, it reverts to being a Tramp.
Think: Russell Crowe as Noah


7. The Blessed

Brian Blessed beard

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Named in honour of the one, the only, the most roaringly bonkers beard-wearer, Brian Blessed. (Also popular with town-criers and real-ale drinkers.)
Think: about what else is caught up in there..?

8. The Santa

Father Christmas


You won’t spot this one very often – usually just once a year, around the end of December. And only then if you’ve been a very, very good girl. Long, white and beautiful.
Don’t even think: about kissing Santa Claus under the Christmas tree…


9. The Weird and the Wonderful

The Weird and Wonderful beard

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OK, we give up! If It doesn’t fall into one of the other categories, chances are it belongs in here.
Think: Abraham Lincoln style chinny-chin-no-tache beards, Captain Jack Sparrow, Dumbledore…


For more fabulous beard action, check out these hirsute beauties!

Which category does your fella fall into? Let us know!