Don't you just hate it when your office colleagues do these very irritating things..?
1. Sniffing continuously
Seriously, get a tissue! The toilets are never too far for those legs to walk and give your hooter a nice, juicy blow! And, come on, if it’s really that bad, grab yourself some pocket tissues.
2. Being ill
If you’re so poorly that you really should be in bed, please just stay under that duvet. We don’t want to catch those germs, and will happily send you home with some cold-and-flu relief and chicken soup.
3. Eating smelly food
OK, this one isn’t too bad, as sometimes last night’s dinner was too good not to eat again. But heating up fish pie in the office kitchen’s microwave is just cruel, no?
This is mildly acceptable on a building site, but in a quiet office, it just sounds like someone drilling our eardrums. The same goes for singing (unless you sound like Susan Boyle, of course).
5. Talking loudly
On the phone, only on the phone. Speaking noisily to other colleagues is just-about acceptable, but telling your mate to ‘just dump him already…let’s just go out and get drunk tomorrow night instead…WOO HOO…bottle of wine each, yeah?’ is just plain irritating. Unless we’re invited, of course.
6. Loud ringtones
While we’re on it, just put your phone on silence, or at least turn the thing down!
7. Listening to music
The radio can be a welcome sound for the whole office, but listening to music on your headphones screams ‘I don’t want to be part of this team, leave me alone!’. And it can also make your colleagues look rather stupid when they’ve asked you for something three times before realising you can’t actually hear them…
What’s so important that you have to leg it down the middle of the office like Usain Bolt? Are you just making a point that you’re just so busy and important and need to be there RIGHT NOW?
9. Shouting at technology
Calling the computer all the names under the sun is not going to make it work, OK? Maybe just turn it on and off again or call IT – just a thought…
10. Desk-space impostors
This is my desk space. That is your desk space. I don’t go into yours. You don’t go into mine. Yes, it should be as simple as Dirty Dancing. Don’t encroach on mine, and I won’t leave rubbish on yours!