Here is a round-up of (in our opinion) some of the most strange and hideous footwear you'll ever see!


1. Gladiators… Ready!



First off, these extreme ‘Glads’ will have been seen primarily on the catwalks, but we’ve seen a few filtering through on the street.

Mainly worn by fashion victims, those straps that go almost all the way up to the knee must be pretty uncomfortable, and aside from that, they just look plain ridiculous!

More Caeser than Cleopatra, we think!


2. What’s the weather like up there?



While we’re all in favour of a bit of Goth, i.e black eyeliner, a vampy long black dress, velvet cape etc, these boots are just downright scary, (suppose that’s the point though!)

A 7ft tall lurching Frankenstein’s monster comes to mind….yikes!


3. Croc-o doodle-don’t!



Good old Crocs, comfy, bright, fun and handy to slip on when you want to do a bit of pottering in the garden!

But unless you’re 5 years old, to wear these plastic monstrosities outside of the house has truly got to be a crime of fashion!

Two words come to mind. No. Need.

4. Get a wiggle on!

toe shoes2


Could anything be worse than Crocs? YES! These “Creature from the black lagoon” type slippers/trainers that have space for each little toe to wiggle into! The word on our lips is “WHY?”

Each to his own, but really?

Flip-ping awful, we say!!


5. The train now at flatform 2 will stop at…

mustard shoe2


OK, they give you a couple of inches in height, and look very comfy, but with hardly any contrast between the heel and the sole, these ‘flatforms’ are just not flat-tering at all!

They can be dangerous too, as it’s impossible to feel the sole of your foot on the ground!


6. Oops, we ran out of leather!

black boots2


Bandles? Soots? Whatever you call these hybrids doesn’t really justify their existence!

Admittedly, they are quite sexy, but the boot part would be hot in summer and the sandal part sure ain’t gonna protect from the rain and chills in wintertime! 

Best worn with tanned bare legs and a short skirt for clubbing (or the bedroom!)


7. Pole position

yellow 2


This ‘lap dance’ style shoe, in neon, glitter or nude, seems to be the ‘mode du jour’ right now,  as worn by girls stepping out for the night in every suburban high street.

They’ll be staggering along, like a herd of escaped Tyrannosaurus Rex’s from Jurassic world!

These skyscraper heels have ‘built-in invisible platforms’ to elevate the wearer to the highest heights. However, far from looking elegant and glamorous, these perilous plodders are hard to walk in and surely must be bloomin’ painful at the end of a long night on the tiles!