If you’re not a dog person, you may never understand the insane affection we have for our furry, four-legged friends...
1. Don’t ask if you don’t care…
When asked how our dog is, we will (admittedly, irritatingly) reply beautiful/gorgeous/adorable etc.. Probably not the answer you were looking for, but hey, it’s true!
2. The most dependable alarm clock
Fancy a lie-in? Forget it! If you try, be prepared for a cold, wet nose thrust under the duvet and sloppy face licks. That said, it’s hard to stay grumpy at an excited pooch for long.
3. Bathtime hell
While your pup may love water, mention the B.A.T.H word and they’ll run for the hills. Then, when you finally drag them in, they’ll exact their revenge by evading the towel to shake bubbles all over you instead!
4. Never leave food unattended
Remember that Christmas you left the cooked turkey on the side to cool, turned your back for a second, then heard a thud and felt you tummy drop? Don’t worry, the guests were none the wiser. It’s amazing what a drizzle of gravy and some sprouts can cover up!
5. Size doesn’t matter
Dogs have no concept of their own size. Littl’uns think they can take on the world’s tallest, muscliest mutts. Equally, bigger dogs have size dysmorphia too, assuming they can easily curl up on your lap for a snuggle.
6. Underhand transactions
Feeding your pup at the table is a no-no. Well, we say that… As your knee gets heavier, and wetter, good luck not caving!
7. Potty training
We applaud our pup’s poos. Every victory counts, and if it’s outside instead of on your fave rug, then it deserves a fanfare.
8. Unspoken rule
When your dog is dozing on you, you don’t move.
9. Furry favouritism
The dog is always going to get the first hug and kiss when we arrive home.
10. Mucky pup
Like kids, whilst on the lead you can give them a talking to about steering clear of the muddy puddles. Guarantee, though, once off the leash, it’s the first thing they’ll head for, and you won’t be able to stop them.
You believe your dog understands everything you say, even if they don’t. Though, they do…
12. Clever canine
People don’t get your dog is actually incredibly smart. I mean he’s probably the most intelligent dog in the world.
13. The dog did it!
Dogs farts are by far the smelliest. However, should anyone make a snide comment about your pooch’s fragrant bottom burps, that’s simply not on. You can make jokes about it, but no-one else can.
14. Staring contest
No matter how you try not to blink, your hound will outstare you every time. Just accept it and give them whatever they want.
15. Picture pawfect
When people ask to see pictures of our ‘actual’ family, we’ll have to skim through hundreds of photos of our dog first.
16. Barking orders
We sometimes forget ourselves and order guests to ‘sit!’
17. Anything goes
You eat, sleep and dance with your dog, there are no boundaries.
18. Playing ball
Smart as your dog undoubtedly is, they don’t always seem to get how a game of catch works, refusing to give you the ball they’ve caught so you can chuck it again! That said, when you do wrestle it back, it is not a case of just throwing the ball a few times…
19. Age is nothing
No matter how big they get, they will always be your baby.
20. Baby talk
And yes, our voice reaches glass-shattering octaves when talking to our pups, but it’s no different from talking to cute babies…
21. Love my dog, or leave…
You can’t fake it. If you’re not a dog lover, we’ll find out. And, if our dog doesn’t approve of you – farewell!
22. No matter what they do, you can’t stay angry
Even when they eat your favourite books, chew through your best shoes, or gnaw your credit card. One innocent head tilt, a flash of those puppy-dog eyes, and all is forgiven.
23. They are family
You don’t consider your pup a pet. It’s family. A word to the wise, never say ‘it’s just a dog’. Dogs are people with four legs and fur, we talk to them, kiss them, dress them up…
24. No means no…
Until that adorable head tilt comes into play again. Then, it’s game over!
25. Home time…
You can be having the best night out with your mates, but you’ll secretly be looking forward to going home, just for your dog’s wagging tail, wet kisses, and bedtime cuddles.
26. Dog doubters
You don’t trust anyone who isn’t fond of dogs, especially yours.
27. Waxing lyrical…
We make up songs for our dogs – about walkies, poops, bedtime. Parents do it for their babies, so why not for our furry babies?!
28. Wet kisses
We don’t mind our dogs slobbering on our face, even if their mouth has just been somewhere else moments before.
29. Mine’s the best
Even though all dogs are adorable, your own is just a little bit cuter, obviously!