Big boobs are brilliant - hooray! But with great power comes great responsibility and there are a few things us busty girls have been wanting to get off our ample chests...
1. You can’t wear a shirt
You’re only trying to look smart but then the buttons gape and, before you know it… peekaboo!
2. Halternecks are torture devices
On the hanger, it looks like a pretty top. But if you’re bigger than a D cup, a halterneck is actually a torture device designed to turn a well-endowed lady into a Quasimodo look-a-like in an instant.
3. Your bra has tried to kill you
One day, your favourite bra will attempt to stab you in the heart. Why, old friend, why? We’ve been through so much together…
4. Big bras are expensive
Need a new holder-upper to replace the one that turned homicidal? Here, just fill out this mortgage application to get the funds so you can actually afford to buy one.
5. People LOVE to tell you they’re big
Thanks, Perfect Stranger – but, actually, I’m already aware of my chest size! And it’s not only pervy blokes who feel comfortable commenting…ladies will, too. People can’t help themselves!
6. You get the Inevitable Question
Yes, they’re real. No, it’s not OK you asked…
7. It makes you competitive
8. The pencil test? Ha ha ha!
You know the one – where you pop a pencil under your boobs to test for sagging – is a joke. Us large-breasted ladies have got much more room for stationery storage under our sets. How about the pencil case test?
9. It’s fun to name your boobs
We’re told curvy Kelly Brook calls her 30FFs Phil and Grant!
10. They can come in handy
Cup of tea in one hand, your dinner in the other. How will you carry your mobile? That’s what your cleavage is for.
11. This is the view when you look down
Why even bother buying nice shoes? You’ll never see them.
12. They make exercise hard
Before you go for a run, just pop on two or three sports bras and you’re all set. (Or go for the option we choose, and don’t go for a run.)
13. They make you messy
You spill food down your front…all the time. And then there are the morsels that somehow make their way inside your bra, so when it comes off at the end of the day, there’s a veritable picnic on your bedroom floor.
14. Three words: Under Boob Sweat
And you thought having bigguns was so sexy…
15. They can scare blokes
It’s well known that fellas can hold a long conversation while never looking you in the eyes. But when it comes to more than ogling, a lot of men are at a bit of a loss!
Have we forgotten any big boob problems? Let us know in the comments below…