Once upon a time, you knew where you were with certain old, familiar words. But now, there’s a whole new world of definitions out there…
Was: To give a person or animal food, or to put money into a machine or meter.
Now: Place where everyone you’ve ever met posts pictures of food, pets, selfies…
Was: Irritating pointy finger jab.
Now: Facebook feature used to send alerts to someone you might know. Who might not want to know you… so still irritating, then.
Was: Pink, squishy meat-like substance in tins. Much loved for Sunday-afternoon sarnies by your gran.
Now: Unsolicited electronic message.
Was: Social standing in society.
Now: How people alert everyone, via Facebook, to what they’re eating, wearing, what their baby, partner, cat, dog or pet owl is doing – never mind that no-one gives a, erm, hoot.
Was: To trip, slip or blunder.
Now: The act of having web pages specific to your interests sent to you to in a seemingly random way. Seems like a good idea until you get yet another alert about sausage recipes. What do you mean, you don’t remember asking..?
Was: What the doctor ordered.
Now: Handheld personal computer operated by touch screen or digital pen. Caution – don’t EVER try to swallow one.
Was: Game you played at break time with your pals when you were at junior school – or something you put on their birthday present.
Now: Naming names, when it comes to who’s who in a photo of an event posted online to Facebook.
Was: Ogre-like, smelly creature that lived hidden under a bridge. Or those little 60s cuties we used to collect.
Now: Still a smelly, ogre-like creature – but lives hidden on the Internet. And definitely NEVER cute.
Was: What birds said…
Now: To post a short message, usually of breathtaking importance, on Twitter.
Was: Something that isn’t the same as…
Now: What you do when someone posts something you don’t like on Facebook.