Sound familiar?! These are the dreaded words that blast out of automated checkout tills up and down the country. Annoying? You bet! And it's not the only daily irritant guaranteed to raise the stress levels of even the most laid back individual...


And breathe in…

Imagine the scene. It’s a typical day. You wake up full of the joys and decide to invest in a spot of retail therapy. You drive into the car park, collect a ticket from the machine and successfully squeeze your car into the smallest (and only remaining) space which happens to be between two large concrete posts. Annoying? Oh yes. Especially when your car isn’t fitted with rear parking sensors.


Not the time for a selfie…



You head into town and are quickly confronted by another major irritation. The streets are crowded with shoppers and the store you require is at the other end of the high street. Weaving in and out, you’re only four shops away from the one you need when it happens. The person in front of you stops abruptly. But they’re not going into a shop, oh no. They’ve decided to take a selfie (and have a chat with their mate) just for the hell of it! Meanwhile it’s taken all your composure not to fall arse over tit because there’s no way of anticipating the ‘stop dead selfie move’ in the street.


Cheque it out…

You move onto the bank. You need to cash a good old fashioned cheque. Only, the queue is huge so you head to the paying-in machine. The one which quite clearly states it accepts cheques. So why is it, no matter how many times you try to glide the cheque into the machine it keeps spitting it out at you? It’s the wrong way round. It can’t recognize the handwriting. The amount’s wrong. You name it, it doesn’t like it and don’t even get us started on trying to feed actual monetary notes into the machine. No matter which way it goes in, it comes back out twice as fast. The Queen’s head, it seems, is just never the right way round!


There’s nothing ‘fast’ about this food…



Fancy grabbing some fast food for lunch? Forget the ketchup! In the time it takes to squeeze a few squirts of the red stuff into the tiny little paper thimble-sized container they provide, your food is guaranteed to be cold. And the amount of ketchup you can fit into one is only enough for dipping 6 chips in. Literally. Unless you’ve ordered large fries, then you’ll need to fill at least 5 of the things!


“Unexpected item in bagging area…”

You move on to the supermarket. You’ve only got 5 items, so you head straight to the self- checkout. The first 3 items scan fine. But number 4 proves much more troublesome. “Unexpected item in bagging area,” the mechanical voice booms. “Please remove item and wait for assistance.” It’s at this point that a queue has started to form behind you. Your face begins to turn an attractive shade of puce and you stand holding your loaf of bread getting more and more exasperated waiting for an assistant to hold some mystical key fob against the machine so you can continue.

 Quids not in!

unexpected item in the bagging area: ticket machine parking


Call us cynical, but we can pretty much guarantee when you go back to collect your car you’ll encounter this equally painful experience at the ticket machine. You need to put a pound coin in. Which you do. Only it always gets spat back out. And we mean, always! So you scratch the pound coin against the machine to rough it up (multiple scratch marks on the machine show you’re not the only frustrated motorist who’s done this!) but the pesky thing just keeps on spitting it out! You retrieve it, rescratch and try again. It won’t accept it. It won’t register. So you try the other pound coin in your purse. The same thing happens. And in the end you give up (red faced once more) because no one else in the queue has any other pounds coins to exchange either. You get back in your car and park up to pay the attendant in the box directly…the old fashioned way.


It could be worse…



By now you’re a person on the edge and can’t help but wonder why you even bothered to leave the house today?! Surely an online shop would have been far easier? But then, hang on, the last time you did that didn’t you end up with all manner of bizarre items that either didn’t fit or you hadn’t even ordered in the first place? Argh! Don’t even get us started on that one…!!!


Have any of these made you cross today? Let us know!