We love our mums but they can be so embarrassing on Facebook. Sometimes you want the ground to open up and swallow you, them, their computer and keyboard whole. If only we still lived in a simpler time, when slamming the bedroom door and yelling ‘Leave me alone!’ was all you needed for some personal space. Now, they’re in cyber space, and there’s no escape…
1. You log into Facebook and there it is: the friend request you were dreading. MUM WANTS TO BE YOUR ‘FRIEND’.
2. That’d be fine, if she didn’t request ALL OF YOUR MATES, TOO. ‘Your mum’s just friend requested me. I’ve accepted.’ Face. Palm.
3. She calls it ‘The Facebook’ without a trace of irony.
4. She takes Facebook far too literally. Filling out EVERY film she’s ever watched, TV show she likes and book she’s ever read… EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.
5. She hits LIKE on every photo you’ve ever uploaded. Thanks for the 74 notifications, Mum, but really, you could have just liked the album.
6. Problem is, she just doesn’t ‘get’ Facebook and never will. She doesn’t know how to create a photo album, so she’ll post every photo one by one, along with increasingly ridiculous captions.
7. Mum’s been at the scanner and she’s posted a ‘cute’ childhood photo. Oh great, and it’s been 12 hours since she’d tagged you. Everyone has seen you in the bath aged 3, or your cringe hair do, complete with white platform trainers, when you were in your Spice Girls phase. Girl power.
8. She’ll share rude memes without even realizing what ‘DTF’ ‘MILF’ or even what a ‘meme’ is. Worse, she’ll try to use modern slang and fail miserably. FML.
9. She starts commenting on your friend’s photos that have nothing to do with you, or her. Boundaries, Mother! They’ve no idea of the unwritten rules.
10. You’re having a heated row with a mate, or your other half, online. The very last thing you need is your mum getting involved to stick up for you. Or worse, take their side!
11. She now has the ability to message you any time, day or night. She’ll see what time you read a message, so you MUST reply. If you don’t, she’ll message your friends worrying about where you are.
12. She’ll tell you off for swearing on your status. FFS.
13. She’ll make crap jokes at your expense, and all your mates will delight in hitting ‘Like’.
14. You’ve woken up with a stinking hangover, and update your status for solidarity from your mates. Your mum will instantly reply telling you to be careful, posting a link to an article about the dangers of binge-drinking.
15. Your mum’s mates will add you, too. You feel rude rejecting them and it’s too much hassle putting them on limited privacy settings. You instantly get 37 notifications. Great, they’re going through your photos…
16. You and your mates are having a funny comment session on your status. Your mum comments with something completely irrelevant and kills the banter stone dead. Cheers, Mum.
17. Sometimes mums feel frisky, and some will feel confident enough to post a status about it. Ewwwww. CAN’T. BE. UNSEEN.
18. One day, you realise in horror that she’s got more Facebook friends than you have.
19. Depending on your mum’s age, she just won’t understand all the extra little notifications that go up on Facebook. She’ll hit ‘married’ and, despite the fact she’s been married 20 years, it’ll come up that she ‘is now married’ and be confused by dozens of congratulations messages. Totes awks.
20. She’ll write a public message on your timeline shaming you for not having done the dishes or taken the bins out.
21. Deep down, you know they’ve got the best intentions. The best ’embarrassing’ Facebook post is the one you get to do – changing your profile picture to a snap with her, and thanking her publicly on Mother’s Day for being there – to drive us mad – all year round!
Wonder how many mums will hit ‘like’ on this if you share it?
Got a funny story you can add to our list of ways mums drive us mad on Facebook? Comment below!