There are certain things we really don’t think we need to be told. Some warnings are an example of the nanny state gone mad, while others are over-zealous health and safety suggestions. The rest are pure and simply silly! See what you think…
1. In A Lather!
Why are there are still instructions on shampoo? Do the manufacturers really think we haven’t got it by now?!
2. Stairway to… Danger?!
All those warning signs on escalators. Seems the easiest thing in the world to us. Step on. Hold on. Get off at top or bottom. Simple! Surely easier than walking down hundreds of stairs…
3. Barking Mad
Talking of escalators, signs also read: ‘Dogs must be carried’. This doesn’t mean you can’t travel without clutching a pet, just that if you do have one, don’t let the poor pooch try to clamber up the tricky steps alone!
4. Explosive Stuff
Light the blue touch paper and stand well back. Considering we’ve just lit a firework which has gun powder inside it – that’s exactly what we intend to do!
5. Fools Rush In…
Recently the Tannoy at our station told us that as they run an efficient service, we shouldn’t risk injuring ourselves running for a train, as another would be along in a minute. Looks liked this chap wasn’t taking any chances on mssing this one!
6. Do Look Down!
‘Mind the gap’ announcements on train stations. We were just planning on leaping right into it! What happens to non-English speaking tourists?
7. Door Bore
We just can’t seem to stop moaning about our daily commute. Here’s another bug bear. ‘Obstructing the doors can be dangerous’ signs. Most days the tube is so packed that if you want to get on, there’s no choice but to be squashed against those said doors…
8. That’s Nuts…
The packet info that suggests the product may contain nuts. We know it’s important to inform us in case of nut allergies, and nuts can come into contact with other ingredients during manufacturing. But if we’ve bought a bag of monkey nuts in shells, we sort of guessed when we cracked the shells open that there would be nuts inside!
9. In The Swim
When you try on a new bikini, it has a plastic hygiene strip stuck in the gusset (lovely word!), in case you don’t buy it, and it goes back on fhe shelf. We’re then informed that this strip should be removed before we go swimming in it. Who’d want to hit the beach with that scratchy thing still in their pants!
10. You Booze, You Lose!
‘Drink responsibly’ is something we’re being told a lot these days. We do try to, honestly. But we’re still grappling with what ‘responsibly’ implies. If it means after a night out, you’ve ended up in your house in your own bed, without having a fight on the way home, we’re doing fine, thanks.
11. Treat? Oh, No!
When you buy a new handbag, those little silica gel bags that are inside do look interesting. Intetesting, yes. Tasty? No! So we’re not entirely sure we need the ‘Do not eat’ warning that is printed in BIG letters on them. We’ll stick to Werther’s Originals, thanks!