Work jargon – David Brent’s alive and well, and working in an office near you…

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In any office, on any working day, you’ll hear stuff that’ll set your teeth on edge. It’s not just Stateside, although that’s probably where the idiocy’s come from. David Brent (Ricky Gervais) in The Office is a fine example of puffed-up piffle…

The Plain English Campaign says many people working for corporate organisations use management speak to disguise the fact they haven’t done their job properly. And a recent survey by the Institute of Leadership & Management revealed that gobbledegook is used in almost two thirds of offices, with nearly a quarter of us considering it a pointless irritation.

Thinking outside the box… going forward… and let’s touch base were named and shamed as the top three most overused. Hot on their heels, according to a new poll from office experts officebroker.com are…

1. Blue-sky thinking…

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2. Pinging e-mails…

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3. Drilling down

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And now here’s some more corkers – and what they’re (probably) supposed to mean.

4. Transitioned = moved

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5. Give 110 per cent =  a lot

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6. Helicopter view = broad view

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7. Idea shower = brainstorm

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8. Touch base offline = meet and talk

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9. Low-hanging fruit = easy-to-win business

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10. Look under the bonnet = analyse a situation

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11. Get all your ducks in a row = be organised

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12. Not enough bandwidth = too busy

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13. Cascading relevant information = speaking to colleagues

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14. Strategic staircase – business plan

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15. Singing from the same hymn-sheet = in agreement

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16. Conscious uncoupling = you’re fired

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And here’s a few more that could mean anything, really. And, quite frankly, we’ve lost the will to live or care now…

Circle-back, how to warehouse, progress a project, contextual environment, organic projects, milennials, leverage of brands, soft launch.

 

But, hey! Let’s give David Brent the last word…