The English language is a wonderful thing - full of funny, flowery, filthy wordplay. And, over the centuries, there's certainly been some 'fragrant' vocab for both yours and his naughty bits! We say let's spice things up and start using some of these again...

(And if you're lucky, perhaps Sir Martin Wagstaffe might get a tour of Mrs Fubbs' Parlour tonight!)

44 boys’ bits!

Pudding prick; kicky wicky; whim wham; plum-tree shaker; nine-inch knocker; matrimonial peacemaker; wriggling pole…

Naughty bits: man with marrow

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…marrow-pudding; silent flute; buttonhole-worker; belly-ruffian; beard-splitter; The Persuader; gospel-pipe; kidney-prodder; meat whistle; Tootsie roll; flapdoodle; fiddle-diddle; father confessor; Dr Johnson; customs officer; Captain Standish; lamp of light; jumble-giblets; jiggling bone; gravy-giver; garden engine; member for Cockshire; master of ceremonies; The Lobster…

Naughty bits: wriggly worm

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…one-eyed wonder worm; leather-stretcher; tickle-toby; solicitor general; old hornington; the bald-headed hermit; bobble-whacker; patootie; doodle-dasher; mutton gun; beef bayonet; old blind Bob; Sir Martin Wagstaffe…

 

…and 44 for the girls!

Cecily Bumtrinket; buggle-bo; bumble broth; parsley bed; Jennie Howelett; aphrodisiacal tennis court; buzzy-muzzy; Rochester portion; pootie-tootie; Orphan Annie; contrapunctum; Nancy Laycock…

Naughty bits: oyster and pearl

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…bearded oyster; Eve’s custom house; Buckinger’s boot; Cupid’s cloister; rob the ruffian; Mrs Fubb’s parlour; nick-in-the-notch; pom-pom; altar of love; crinkum-crankum; mumble-peg; hey-nonny-no; belle-chose; Madge Howlett; ducking pond; spitfire; pipkin; whib-bob; old hat; The Exchequer…

Naughty bits: woman itching

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…itching Jenny; tippet-de-witchet; shady spring; the merry bit; rest and be thankful; old frizzle; bugle-bow; nature’s treasury; conundrum; privy counsel; petticoat lane; The Flowerpot…

 

So, what do you call yours..?!