Let’s face it, none of us were born with the fitness of Usain Bolt or the body of Cara Delevingne. We have to work at it. But while we’re sweating off that extra chunk of choc, it’s fun to check out the other fitness freaks making exercise a part of their regular routine. Well, some of them… Recognise any of these gym-goers?
1. The fair-weather folk
Summer/their wedding/New Year is coming [delete as applicable]. Whatever the occasion, they need a new bod and that’s what this gym-goer is working towards. But the second they hit their deadline, they might as well hand their gym pass in at the door, as they won’t be coming back. Until the next special occasion looms…
2. The farters
Just when you think it’s safe to drop and do some press-ups, the guy behind you lets rip a silent whopper. But instead of ‘fessing up, he carries on as if nothing happened, while you’re left choking on the fumes!
3. BO Joe
Seriously, can your nose become so accustomed to your body’s BO it no longer detects it? Regardless, to smell that rank surely you’ve either never showered, or never washed your gym kit. Totally gross!
4. The show-offs
Running in next to no clothes, or in t-shirts emblazoned with numbers claiming they ran 1,000,000 miles in 5 minutes. Like, whatevs!
5. The go-getters
As you can tell from this post, people judge. But, to all those who are a little overweight, but determined not to be… Go for it!
6. The dress-to-impressers
Those who turn up fully made-up and, therefore, never work up a sweat. Why bother?
7. The fitness fanatics
Just as you’re winding up your workout, they’re still running, and show no signs of stopping, or sweating. How do they DO that?
8. The sweaters
Sure, they gave it 200% on the bike – three cheers, guys! But please wipe up after yourself…
9. The bicep boys
Barely-there vest [tick]; bulging biceps you couldn’t miss if you tried, as they press more weight than any human being can pick up [tick]; unashamedly hogging the bench press as everyone else tries not to stare [tick].
10. All the gear, no idea
They paid a fortune to kit themselves out in the brightest Nike trainers, latest leggings and top. Only problem is, they can’t figure out how to start the treadmill. Still, they look the part…
11. The nudists
No shame – no nothing… The weirdly confident butt-naked folk who stroll around carefree and clothes-free in the changing room, occasionally bending over starkers rather too close to your face! Seriously, do you really need to blow-dry your hair in the nud? And, is it me, or do they spend longer naked than they do on the crosstrainer?
12. The grunters
They lift more weight than they can manage, and want you to know about it, so they grunt unnecessarily loudly, then unceremoniously drop the bar after one feeble lift. Oh, pur-lease!
13. The readers
Seriously, I’m all for keeping up-to-date with the latest happenings around the world, but unless page turning is the new bicep booster, save your newspaper for the bus or sofa, and stop hogging the bike! And don’t get us started on the texters…
14. The leave-it-where-you-definitely-didn’t-find-it folk
Why do people insist on leaving gym equipment where they used it – usually in the middle of the gym floor, where someone will trip over it. You can guarantee they’re the first in line to moan when they can’t find both 12kg dumbbells where they should be, on the rack.
15. The renters
They rent a locker and therefore treat the changing room as a home-from-home, spreading out their belongings on every bench and flat surface available…
16. The gossips
It’s all very well lifting weights and pounding the treadmill, but doing it while you natter to your mate means the only thing getting a good work out is your mouth!
17. The mirror-hoggers
How they don’t get a crick in their neck from staring at themselves in the mirror as they squat is a miracle. Still, it’s fun to pop your stuff bang in front of them as they squirm to get the merest glimpse of themselves pumping iron.