You can keep your new-fangled gadgets. It’s retro all the way for us. Lovely old typewriters with keys that stick (handy for finding kidnappers who’ve typed notes), and auto-change record players where six singles were stacked and dropped in order, if you were lucky. New technology? We say tech-no! – especially to these current-day culprits…
1. Mobile phones
Mobile phones are useful people say. Not when you’re in the middle of an important conversation and they cut out! Plug-in-the-wall landlines are better, not least because if you’re furious with someone on the end of the line, you can physically slam the receiver down! Clicking a button isn’t the same…
2. Text messages
Texts are rude. What’s wrong with talking? The answer: it’s easier to text. Especially if you’ve made plans to meet a mate and get a better offer. You can simply blow out your pal with a text, lying that you don’t feel well and end it with a Sad Face 🙁
Keep your Kindles! Books are great! You could lend them to a friend when you’d read them, pass them on to charity after. Borrowing books from the library was a treat. So was turning down the corners – on the ones you own, not the library ones, please! Also, on holiday, if you drop a book in the pool, it’s annoying, but not as much so as if it was your precious Kindle!
‘Had boiled eggs for breakfast instead of cornflakes.’ Who cares? It’s like when you were a kid and kept a diary that said: Got up, went to school, had dinner, watched telly, went to bed.’ Also not interesting, but at least you didn’t share this info with others. It was private. For which the rest of the world was most grateful!
5. Music downloads
Remember the first single you ever bought? Going into the record shop and looking at the listings to see if it was in stock and how high it’d got in the charts? And then there were albums, in alphabetical order. Some bands you’d never even heard of? But that didn’t matter, some of the covers were like works of art. Just look at this iconic Beatles cover. Downloading music takes away all of that joy and causes record shops to close down. It also means your granny can’t buy you a record voucher any more and think that she’s really down with the kids when she hands it over on your birthday!
What do you hate about modern life? Let us know…