Following on from the 11 things we initially wanted banished into the room-of-no-return, we discovered that there were plenty more where they came from! So we’re running it as a series and, over the next six weeks, we shall be shoving five things a week down the chute to be gone forever – starting with these…
1. Soapy Holiday Nonsense
People in the soaps who return wearing sombreros and playing maracas when they’ve been to Spain! Didn’t they pack these or put them in their hand luggage? If so, do they expect us to believe that in the cab on the way home, they put on a giant hat and got out their maracas before showing up tanned in the pub to announce: ‘I’m home!’
2. Bad Spelling On Menus
You don’t have to know how to spell, but you do have to know that you can’t! So when compiling a menu, have the words checked before getting it printed thousands of times to be seen by the world! Although, as you can by these diners, spotting mistakes on a menu can be fun. Anyone else having the mouse for desert (sorry, we meant mousse for dessert)?!
3. Tannoy Torment
Announcements about train delays are necessary. But do we need messages repeating the same things? Like these for example: ‘We are currently running a good service’. ‘Don’t forget you can now use contactless for the same price as an Oyster card’. ’There is a train directly behind this one’. ‘Check website for planned engineering works’… Tannoys are so loud and intrusive they keep interrupting us while we’re on the phone!
4. Babies Who Stare
They may be sitting opposite you on the train, or nearby in a coffee shop or restaurant. You’ve caught their eye and now the baby is staring at you. You try smiling, but they don’t return the favour and just continue to look at you without the hint of a grin. You try to outstare them, but it seems they have youth on their side and you end up looking away first…
5. Towels That Are The Wrong Size
You buy suitably-sized towels to use at home, but when you stay in a hotel, unless you’ve gone mega posh and you get a bathrobe, you’ll be left trying to pull a towel round you that isn’t quite big enough and you’re left holding it up to spare your blushes. At least in this case, the one you’ve got on your washed hair is managing to do the job without being too small to fit all your locks inside, or so large and heavy it gives you a headache!
Join us again next Friday for five more things we want to put into Room 101…