So, you've psyched yourself up to watch a horror film all on your own, have you? Well, you're a brave, old soul. Or are you..?

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1. Feeling brave

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You’re all alone on a Friday night. Now, you could just watch a boring, safe rom-com staring Jennifer Aniston, but you’ve decided to scare the poo out of yourself instead with a horror movie. So, will it be blood and guts, a slasher, or something that’ll make you jump out of your seat in the first five minutes? Will you brave the sadistic terror of the The Human Centipede, the knife-wielding shock of Halloween or the ‘never sleep again’ anxiety of Paranormal Activity..?

2. Cowardness

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OK, you’re only 20 minutes in and you’ve yelped 100 times already. It’s time to put some protection in place… Not feeling so brave now, eh? But will you cover your ears or eyes? The terrifying horror music makes things one hundred times worse, but you can never unsee a young girl being possessed by a demon and shouting obscenities at her mother. Grab that cushion/duvet/cabinet/cat now!

3. Sheer terror

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You’re so frightened that your heart is going ten to the dozen. Why on earth did you decide to put yourself through this madness? And why are you suddenly screaming things at the TV? Yelling, ‘Why are you going upstairs, you silly woman?’ or ‘Oh, my God, what is that? What is THAT?’ just makes you feel sooooooooo much better about the whole thing, right?

4. Mixed emotions

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iStockphoto

Now you’re scared AND angry. Why did that stupid girl hide in the bedroom when the killer was slowly coming up the stairs? Why? And why do you suddenly need the toilet when all the lights are off upstairs and there’s a strange creaking sound coming from the floorboards? Well, that wee is just going to have to wait until the sun comes up. There’s no way you’re going upstairs now. No way.

5. Relief

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iStockphoto

It’s over, you made it! The horror has finished! And you weren’t that scared really, were you? What do you mean you don’t want to ever want to shower alone, or look in the mirror, or sleep when it’s dark again? It wasn’t THAT frightening was it..?

BOO!

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iStockphoto