Had an awful in-flight meal or fed up with your bank? Then you might want to take inspiration from these customers who complained in some pretty crazy and creative ways!

TAGS:

Snail mail

When Keith Clark’s bank card was cloned in April, his bank, Santander, told him that a replacement would be delivered to him in eight to 10 days. When the aforementioned time was up, and no card had arrived, Keith went into his local bank and asked where his replacement card was – only to be told that no card had been ordered. So, he ordered a new one. Nineteen days later and still no card, Keith got cross-stitching

Keith’s cross-stitched bank card arrived at Santander’s headquarters a nifty three days later.

Keith says, ‘My motivation was I found it unbelievable that it takes 8 to ten days to make a debit card and send it to me, so I thought I’d wait and see how long it takes to get something to them. If I can knock something out and send it within three days, why can’t they?’

A creative way to pay

Taxes getting you down? 27-year-old Texan Timothy Andrew Norris, came up with an idea to express his displeasure while still keeping up his payments.

Earlier this year, when Norris went to the Wichita County Courthouse to pay his $600 property tax he ended up getting arrested for criminal trespass. Why? Because he refused to leave the premises when asked to do so.

Why had he been asked to leave? Well, Norris had managed to bring the courthouse to a standstill after attempting to pay his tax with 600 very tightly folded dollar bills, which took tax office staff six minutes each to unfold. That works out at about 60 hours of work!

Following his arrest, Norris’ prank – which wasn’t itself illegal – ended up costing him $500 in bail on top of his tax bill.

Come fly with me?

iStock

iStockphoto

Remember the world’s best complaint letter? Back in 2009, a Virgin passenger who flew from Mumbai to Heathrow sent a hilarious complaint letter to Sir Richard Branson about the ‘culinary journey of hell’ he endured on board the plane, during which he was presented with in-flight meals in equal measure both baffling and unpleasant.

Here he is describing the main course: ‘I’ll try and explain how this felt. Imagine being a 12-year-old boy Richard. Now imagine it’s Christmas morning and you’re sat there with your final present to open. It’s a big one, and you know what it is. It’s that Goodmans stereo you picked out the catalogue and wrote to Santa about.

‘Only you open the present and it’s not in there. It’s your hamster Richard. It’s your hamster in the box and it’s not breathing. That’s how I felt when I peeled back the foil.’

The wife says ‘no’

An Apple customer had to return his iPad as his wife had complained about him spending so much money on it. He posted the gadget back to Apple with a Post-it note explaining, ‘Wife said no’. Two senior members of staff spotted the note and decided to fully refund the iPad – returning it in the post with a note that said ‘Apple says yes’.

Ranting reviews

There are of plenty tongue-in-cheek complaints posted online, too. Online retailer Amazon has a few corkers.

Many have gone to town when reviewing the book How To Avoid Huge Ships by John Trimmer, including ‘Dan’ claimed that the book was ‘too informative’:

‘Read this book before going on vacation, and I couldn’t find my cruise liner in the port. Vacation ruined.’

Equally, Amazon customers had plenty of fun mocking the BiC For Her Medium Ballpoint Pen.  ‘Mr J Stevens’ shared some particularly weighty concerns:

‘Normally I only use pens designed and created for real men, in colours appropriate to such instruments of masculinity – black like my chest hair or blue like the steely glint of my eyes. Imagine then the situation I found myself in when, upon taking delivery of another shipment of motorbike parts and footballs, I reached for and grasped not my normal BIC pen, but a BIC For Her Amber Medium Ballpoint Pen.

‘Normally my handwriting is defined and strong, as if chiseled in granite by the Greek gods themselves. However upon signing my name I noticed that my signature was uncharacteristically meandering and looping. More worryingly, the dots above the I’s manifested themselves as hearts, and I found myself finishing off the signature with a smiley face and kisses.

‘I leave this review here as a warning to all men about the dangers of using this particular device, and suffice it to say, will return to signing my name with a nail gun as normal.’

Disappointed with your Pam St Clement Canvas Clock? Yes, that’s right – a clock of Pat Butcher’s face! Well, Mr AR Young certainly was! As he grumbled:

‘I’ve looked long and hard for an A5 canvas clock of Pam St Clement, with the clock hands strategically placed atop her upper lip, thus acting as a comedy moustache. Imagine my disappointment when I discover the clock hands were positioned awkwardly above her right nostril.’